I remember the first time I read the ‘Venus Envy’ by Louise Bagshawe. A book about twenty seven year old Alex who’s stuck at a dead end job, feeling unfulfilled in her life, career wise, relationship wise and weight wise. Her younger sister has a successful career and is getting married, her three housemates are beautiful, put together and doing well for themselves in every way that she isn’t. So my dear heroine has a mad case of Venus Envy.
Venus Envy is a feeling of well…envy for the fairer sex.
As I was saying, I read this book, when I was on campus and I remember never liking the heroine. I mean, my gosh, can’t she just go out, get a job she wants, and work hard at it!! Make better life decisions when it comes to men…she has no one to blame but herself!!…I was pretty full of myself back then.
I soon moved on from that book, from campus, my first job and started to attempt to be a grown up. Then 26 came knocking around and a certain term came into my life. ‘The quarter life crisis’. And boy, did it hit me hard!!! I looked back to all the things I planned on achieving by 26!! Self sufficient financially, own a car, and yes engaged or married if he had really wooed my ass off!!! But nope, I am a twenty six year old woman who’s frustrated work wise, relationship wise and actually gained 2 kilos last week. I am surrounded by friends who are beautiful strong women starting their own business, owning cars, being amazing wives and mothers….wait…why the hell does that sound so damn familiar…oh shit.
So I had a discussion with these amazing paragons of Venus on this quarter life crisis and may I say this mild case of Venus envy (yes mild…shut up) I, alone, seemed to have contracted and color me surprised but they too had been feeling the same! They thought they had fallen short of their own expectations. They should be owning houses by now, have travelled to morocco by now, should have a husband who wooed them to the altar instead of trying to be accomplished first (which we totally understand, gents and admire by the way), should at the very least be able to afford a ticket to Shaggy, mafikizolo and burna boy concert( by the way those people are the devil!! do you know what they put us through financially for that bullcrap of concert?????? EVIL!!!!!!)
It struck me that like Alex in ‘Venus Envy’ most if not all women will have a crazy case of Venus envy at some point in their life. Mostly due to unrealistic expectations we tend to place on ourselves. We have to be successful women career wise, relationship wise, financial wise, weight wise…and all that in addition to being perfect wives, mothers and daughters. No wonder we tend to lose it if we fail at all in any of these expectations. We need to cut ourselves some slack. So you have not gotten that promotion as you planned this year, or that car you were saving for is more expensive than you thought and you have to save another 6 months or that guy you are into is dragging his feet to the altar and your younger sister’s kwanjula is this weekend. Yes… that all sucks, it does. But guess what, you will be fine. You will figure things out and you will achieve your dreams, it might not be the way you planned it, but it will be better. You will get your happy ending just like Alex did. Life always evens out.